The Hun Sketch
by Rev Jay Goldstein
(scene for five)
The
Hun Sketch
by
Rev Jay
Goldstein
(scene for five)
CHARACTERS:
APPLICANT: Eager young Hun.
INTERVIEWER: Very professional, Brooks Brothers Suit and Hun-hat Thoughtful and takes
long pauses humming.
NARRATOR: PBS style narrator
The sounds of marauding Huns in the
background,
The interviewer site behind a desk,
NARRATOR: Europe, 451 a.d.. The crumbling pieces of the Roman Empire are being overrun by a persistent viscous, and angry army of angry men with lousy haircuts. A dreaded disease covers the land known as The Huns. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Interviewer: (Into box on desk) Send the next one in Gladys.
Applicant enters
Applicant: Hello
Interviewer: Please sit down, Can I have your resume?
Applicant: Certainly, I apologize for the blood stains, but I prepared this at work.
Interviewer: That's OK, we're used to that around here. I see that you've spent the last three years as a civilian suppressor.
Applicant: Yes, with Attila The Butcher's Populace Removal Unlimited.
Interviewer: Good firm.
Applicant: The best.
Interviewer: Two years of technical school at Southern Barbaria University. What's the name of their football team?
Applicant: (Excited) The SBU Pillagers. Three cheers for the black and blue.
Interviewer: That's right. They suck.
Applicant: (Deflated) Well, we are a technical college.
Interviewer: Let's see, I have something here. There is an occupation force which needs people. Are you willing to travel?
Applicant: To where?
Interviewer: Gaul.
Applicant: That's fine, I like French food.
Interviewer: There has been a lot of pillaging, raping, and general sacking.
Applicant: And I'm supposed to stop it?
Interviewer: No, supervise it.
Applicant: So it's a managerial job?
Interviewer: We like to think of it as public relations.
Applicant: What kind of fringe benefits are there?
Interviewer: Pillaging, raping, general sacking, and major medical.
Applicant: I'll take the job.
Interviewer: Good, when can you start.
Applicant: Tuesday, Monday is my son's premier at the arena.
Interviewer: Really, who is he fighting?
Applicant: A lion!
Huns bust down the door and kill the two main characters.
the end
©1999 Rev Jay Goldstein